We all have difficult weeks. One with unending failures are the worst ones.
Next comes the usual outbursts that is nothing but alot of crying, whining, hair loosing depression and loads and loads of sleep. You just lie on your bed, while every minute adds a new reason for you to lie low and, sink even. Starting with realising how fat you are, how sun burnt you are, how lonely you are, how everyone jeers at who you are, how stupid you are and how dead you are really, the sensuous hums of denial flows in triumphant; it's murder in the wind.
One thing lingers in you mind best at this moment; even if your just blowing it out of proportion; You've lost it all. We conclude there, but what if we step beyond that line?
You've lost it all, so.......What have you got to lose? Start over sounds like the simplest plan.
Emotions are not easy to get over. As simple and common that ideology is, the hardest it has been to conquer the real remedy for it. It is as unique as you are. It is mysterious as you are. It's your mental finger print, that no one but you know and go through. No one can save you or share you beating yourself up. Don't expect anyone to either.
We rewind life so much, we forget the present and that future waiting with his arms wide open. Fall down; feel helpless, sit down and let it pass by. Just don't sit there frame the picture into perfection and watch. Your admiration of your grief will inhibit you from seeing the walls of time falling apart along with a life; a life that you could have built up to a fortress of glory resembling your greatest strides of recovery.
Remember that merry-go-round and the world that becomes a mere blur you simply pass by while you enjoy spontaneous doses of the rush? You never did let go of that horse; you never let go of this life.
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